Well, Jimmy has sent me a review of Smoking! I'm not sure if I agree entirely (especially
as I'm trying to give up!) but it was sent in so up it goes - make your own mind up eh!
COAGULUS

If anybody smokes, you'll know what I'm on about. You might want to read on
just to confirm what you already know, or just to hear the words of a
kindred spirit in a world of do gooding fascits. Non-smokers, find out what
you're missing.

They are great. From the first drag down the school playing fields to the
waking up at 3 in the morning gasping for a drag. Cool.

The first fag of the day and that lovely little spinning feeling. Cool.

They say variety is the spice of life. In that case ciggies make the world
go round. King size, superkings, filters, filterless, rollies. Even
tealeaves wrapped in A4 paperwhen you're a skint 13 year old and mams out
shopping so you cant pilfer from her box of 10 Bensons. Mixed herbs. Nutmeg
(not all its cracked up to be, same as banana skins). Marlboro lights,
Dunhills, which I'm sure people just buy for the "sophisticated" box. Too
dear? Go down the cut price Coagulus route and get the Richmonds superkings
or Park Lane. Even a Dunhill smoker will smoke one when they got no fags
left. Such is the allure of the things when you got a nicotine itch that
needs scratching.

They got other uses too. Anybody who knows me knows what I mean.

I got my brother caught when I was a kid, about four or five. He had one of
those baccy tins, a Golden Virginia one, and he put stickers over it so it
said "old Virgin". I asked him what it meant and he told me to shut up. I
asked again with the same reply. I asked my mam and she demanded to know
where I had learnt such words. I told her "on Russell's tin". She found it
and gave him a hiding. He found me and gave me one.

Non-smoking pubs? Do me a favour!

Even the different aliases are cool. Fags, ciggies, rollies, snouts,
straights, smokes. The list goes on. I'm sure anybody who reads this
probably knows more.

"After you". How many teenagers have said those words for the last few
drags?

Walking to the corner shop for a single holds so many good memories.

The Marlboro man died from lung cancer. Bummer. (Snigger)

Will I give up one day? Only time will tell. But I doubt it.

Fags: 7/10

(Would have been 10 but three marks off for cancer, emphysema, angina
etc.....)

Next week: Tits